We shouldn’t rush into an important or potentially lifelong relationship without taking time to really get to know the other person. None of us are perfect, and we’re dealing with other imperfect people, so if we want to build successful, strong relationships, we’ll need to try focusing on the other person’s strengths instead of their weaknesses.

An important skill in relationship building is learning to forgive. Forgiveness can be harder when the offence is big. Small offences can usually be forgiven quickly. Big ones involve a healing process, but until we decide to forgive, the process can’t even start. Paul wrote: ‘Be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient. Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you. Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together’ (v.12-14 CEV).

One author puts it this way: ‘If you don’t like something, change it. If you can‘t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.’ In other words, when it comes to facing facts we can’t change, we should pray for grace in learning to live with them. (However, if we’re in any kind of relationship where we’re being hurt, emotionally, physically or mentally, we should seriously consider getting out and getting help from someone we can trust.)

Forgiving others and trusting God to deal with their faults is the right thing to do. We’re not designed to carry the physical and mental stress that comes with holding on to resentment. And on top of that, ‘You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out’ (Galatians 6:1 MSG). So let’s be willing to forgive.

What Now?

What irritates you most about the people you love and are closest to? Ask God to give you grace to step back and let God work on their faults, patience when you feel irritated and frustrated by them, and wisdom to know where your own attitude towards them needs to change.