If we want to have, and keep, good friends, we need to make sure we’re being a good friend too. We can’t expect people to show us friendship when we’re not prepared to show it back. A friendship, just like any relationship between two people, needs both people to invest. It requires both people to treat each other well. It means being there for each other in the hard times and the great ones. It means being someone that can open up to people and also being someone who others feel comfortable opening up to. Being a good friend isn’t to do with personality. We can be loud or quiet, open or reserved, confident or shy and still be a great friend. It’s to do with how kind, compassionate and caring we are. The fruits of the spirit are also great qualities for being a good friend. These qualities are: ‘love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control’ (Galatians 5: 22-23 NCV). When we’re practising these qualities, we’ll be better equipped to be a good friend to other people. And if that feels like too big a list for us to try and achieve at the moment, we can remember the call to ‘do to others what you would want them to do to you’ (Luke 6:31). Sometimes it’s challenging to take a look at ourselves and think about where we can improve, but God can show us which characteristics we need to work on in order to be a better friend to others.

What Now?
Ask your friends which qualities they appreciate in you. And if you’re feeling brave, ask them what they think you need to work on too.