Conflict can bring out the best or the worst in us. But conflict itself isn’t the problem – it’s how we handle it that can make the difference. Abram’s priority was the family; Lot’s was ‘getting rich’. Abram’s concern was harmony; Lot’s was self-preservation. Abram was driven by his faith; Lot by his greed. But watch how the story turned out. 1) What should have happened? Lot should have had more respect for Abram, the leader and head of the household. There are times when we need to point out that a leader is wrong; just because they’re in authority doesn’t make them automatically right. But we also need to discern when we should respect a leader’s experience and guidance, even if it isn’t exactly what we want. 2) What could have happened? Abram could have ‘pulled rank’ and enforced his will, but he didn’t. He could have been concerned about winning, but wasn’t. He could have called in his debts with Lot, but refused to. 3) What did happen? First, Abram elevated relationship above personal advantage. Second, he gave up what was due to him to keep peace in the family. Third, he ‘turned the other cheek’ and deferred to Lot. The stronger made allowance for the weaker. The mature showed mercy toward the immature. Did it make Abram the weaker man and Lot the stronger? Did Abram lose and Lot win? No, because God had last word, and kept His promise: ‘Look…northward and southward and eastward and westward…all the land which you see, I will give it to you and to your descendants forever’ (Genesis 13:14-15 NASB). Doing things God’s way is the best road to peace.

What Now?

If you’re involved in a disagreement with someone who holds a position of authority, ask God to help you discern if this is an occasion for respecting their leadership, even if you don’t agree with them, or if He’s telling you to stand firm and refuse to back down.