In any type of relationship, love needs unselfishness and commitment on our part. Real love is self-sacrificing and it means taking the focus off ourselves and centring it on others. And it doesn’t come easily or naturally to any of us. The truth is that we’re all self-centred. In our own natural selves, we’re reluctant to give up things like our time, money, possessions, or skills in order to meet the needs of other people – unless we’re highly motivated or we’re well rewarded for it. That’s why the Bible teaches us that one of the secrets of having a close relationship with someone else is to first have a close relationship with God. John the apostle wrote, ‘Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love’ (v.7-8 NIV). And God will download that kind of love into our hearts if we ask Him for it. Here’s how He does it: ‘God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us’ (Romans 5:5 NIV). This kind of love grows as we mature it. It develops as we feed it. It expands as we persist in it. The more we show love by putting others’ needs before our own and treating them with the kindness and generosity that God has shown to us, the more our capacity for love will increase. ‘Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them’ (1 John 4:16 NIV). This type of love isn’t dependent on external circumstances or what we can gain from a relationship. This is the type of love that lasts.

What Now?

Is there something that you want to do for yourself today? If you can, try delaying it or setting it aside for an hour or so, and spend that time with a loved one, or spend it doing something for them, instead.