Can you imagine the courage and integrity it took for Nathan the prophet to challenge King David about his affair with Bathsheba? Most of us tend to avoid confrontation because we fear being disliked and rejected. But when you avoid confrontation it often makes things worse. By hiding his sin, David was depriving himself of God’s blessing. Looking back, he wrote, ‘If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and has heard my prayer’ (Psalm 66:18-19 NIV). Confrontation isn’t always the right response, but when it is we need to be doing it in a positive way. Here are ten guidelines to help: 1) Do it ASAP. 2) Address the wrong action, not the person. 3) Only focus on what the person can change. 4) Give them the benefit of the doubt. 5) Be specific. 6) Avoid sarcasm. 7) Avoid saying ‘you always’ and ‘you never’ because they’re not true. 8) When it’s appropriate, tell them how we feel about what was done wrong. 9) Give them a plan to fix the problem. 10) Affirm him or her as a person and as a friend. The Bible says, ‘The Lord corrects those he loves’ (Proverbs 3:12 NCV). So in the same way that God corrects us out of love, we need to make sure that when we’re confronting someone we’re doing it from a place of love too. Confrontation is an opportunity to help that person move closer to God, and to develop your relationship with them – but let’s make sure we’re doing it respectfully and with their best interests at heart.

What now?
Is there someone that you feel God wants you to correct? Before you speak to them, take time with God to make sure your correction comes from love. Don’t approach them until it does. Ask God that you handle it sensitively.