pIt’s hard to know what to do about the idea of adultery before you’re married. There’s no danger of you committing adultery, so do you even need to think about it? Does it have any relevance to you if you’re not in a relationship, never mind engaged? How can you ‘hold marriage in honour’ if you’re not in a marriage?br /
Well, if you want to one day say to your spouse, ‘I am giving you every part of me, unreservedly, and I will never take that back; no-one else is on the agenda, from now until I die’, then you can start putting in a bit of preparation, right now. That looks like this: 1) Work on the gift of your undivided attention. You’ve got people who you love who aren’t your future wife / husband. Ask yourself: how loyal are you to them? How much of yourself do you give them, in conversations, in generosity, in time? If you’re not outwardly-focused now, you won’t get there when you’re married. 2) Don’t let your eyes wander. We don’t mean ‘you can’t be attracted to more than one person at one time.’ But if you’re finding yourself leering at every person you see on the street, or find yourself getting too emotionally attached to anyone who’s nice to you, that could need some work. The fear behind adultery is ‘I’m missing out’. And the fear behind holding marriage in honour when you’re not married yet is just the same. But that’s not a fear that comes from knowing your Father - a Father whose perfect love casts out fear./p
pWhat Now?br /
Ask Jesus, ‘what am I doing well, today? How can I keep doing that so that I can better give myself to whoever ends up being my husband/wife?’/p