Have a read of these Scriptures: ‘Pursue peace with all people’ (Hebrews 12:14 NKJV). ‘The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield…the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace’ (James 3:17-18 NKJV). ‘A person must do these things to enjoy life and have many happy days. He must not say evil things, and he must not tell lies. He must stop doing evil and do good. He must look for peace and work for it’ (1 Peter 3:10-11 NCV).

Healthy compromise doesn’t mean giving up what we truly believe or who we truly are. It doesn’t mean resigning ourselves to second- or third-best, or taking shortcuts because we’re impatient or fearful of pushing back. Healthy compromise is about discovering how to negotiate a position where both sides win. It calls for trying to see things through the eyes of the other person involved in the situation or problem.

Healthy compromise is a characteristic of healthy relationships. It’s tempting to label someone as ‘wrong’ or ‘selfish’, and refuse to see any other perspective except our own. But this is when it’s critical to throw off our pride and try to understand where the other person is coming from. It’s the difference between using a meat cleaver and a fine surgical scalpel. Both will cut, both can be used to remove what needs to be trimmed, but one takes bigger, more clumsy cuts, while the other can be used for precision work and ensure healthy parts aren't damaged in the process. We all need patience, love, and understanding at times, so we should be willing to extend the same grace to others. 

What Now?

Think about the last few times you were in an argument about a minor decision – perhaps something like what to have for dinner, what to watch on TV, who should put the bin out, and so on. For each one, try and come up with as many possible compromises as you can that could have resolved the situation.