When we’re more focused on what we have to offer, instead of the needs of others, they discern it and quickly lose interest. Even when we’re doing something good and positive, like sharing our faith, we can become so engrossed in giving a great presentation and in ‘getting results’ that the other person switches off, and our real message can’t get through.

In his book Presenting to Win, Jerry Weissman points out that when people communicate, they focus too much on the features of their product or service instead of answering the question, ‘Can you help me?’ The key is to focus on the benefits, not the features. He writes: ‘A feature is a fact or quality about you or your company, the products you sell, or the idea you’re advocating. By contrast, a benefit is how that fact or quality will help your audience. When you seek to persuade, it’s never enough to present the features of what you’re selling; every feature must be translated into a benefit. Whereas a feature may be irrelevant to the needs or interests of your audience, a benefit, by definition, is always relevant.’

Caring about other people must always be our motive and starting point. Paul wrote: ‘If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate…If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love’ (v.1, 3 MSG). Let’s get into the habit of checking our motives regularly, ensuring that care and compassion is our first thought.

What Now?

Have a think about your motivation behind sharing your faith. Do you share it because it’s the right thing to do? Because the Bible tells you to? Because you really care that the other person has the chance to experience God’s love and salvation?