Aesop, the author of fables, said, ‘No act of kindness, no matter how small, ever is wasted.’ Being kind doesn’t mean tolerating something that’s wrong, or refusing to confront a problem because we don’t want to challenge something and upset the status quo. There are times when we must confront something or someone, but it should always be done in a gracious way. A calm attitude will go a lot further than a harsh comment or an ugly tone of voice. We can make our point with a kind spirit, and even a sense of humour. When we confront a problem with anger, sarcasm, or self-righteousness, we can end up putting others on the defensive, creating an atmosphere of resentment and bad tempers on both sides. That makes it difficult to get our point across effectively and listen to what the other person has to say. But approaching the issue with kindness and gentleness helps to keep the discussion calm and gives space for others to share their point of view without feeling judged or personally attacked. The Bible says: ‘Words from the mouth of the wise are gracious, but fools are consumed by their own lips.’ Being gracious can be as simple as saying ‘Let’s find a way to work through this problem together,’ instead of ‘You need to sort this out.’ Being gracious means focusing on the problem rather than the people involved. Being gracious doesn’t mean we’re being weak. When we’re gracious we’re following God’s example: ‘The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love’ (Psalm 145:8 NIV). Let’s aim to be ‘slow to anger’ and quick to be gracious.

What Now?

Look up some Bible verses that remind you of God’s graciousness. Try to memorise a couple of them to help you remember to be gracious too when you need to confront someone.