When Israel’s leaders turned to Jephthah for help, they were in distress and wanted to ‘use’ him. So Jephthah said, in essence, ‘Let’s get an understanding of the type of relationship we’re going to have.’ At that point, he negotiated with them and ended up in a top leadership spot. When our trust has been broken, we need to forgive. By doing that, we set ourselves free. But we need to use wisdom in how to move forward. Many of us will have experienced a similar situation to Jephthah’s at school, in the workplace, or even at church; perhaps someone has rejected, ignored, or laughed at us, but if they find they need our help, they want to build a relationship based only on the benefits they can get from it. While it’s important for us to be forgiving, compassionate, and help people who are facing difficulties, God doesn’t expect us to put ourselves in a position to be hurt again. Forgiveness should be immediate, but trust must be earned. The person who has hurt us must show the fruit of repentance – consistent behaviour that shows he or she has had a change of heart. Jesus said, ‘Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God.’ We need two things: grace and wisdom. Grace means extending to others the same forgiveness that God has extended to us. Wisdom means understanding what kind of relationship we can have with that person in the future.

What Now?

Is there anyone who has hurt you recently? Make the choice to forgive them, but also take time to ask God for wisdom in how to move forward with that relationship.