It’s impossible to love anyone fully and at the same time resent someone else. You cannot give total love when your heart is divided. And a bitter heart is a divided heart. You may be thinking, ‘My spouse is a wonderful person, but I just can’t love them.’ Look beneath the surface. You may still be reacting to your past and harbouring resentment against someone who hurt you. That’s keeping you from loving your spouse. And it’s not fair to them. Many people have justified cause for their anger. The National Centre for Domestic Violence states that one out of every four women and one out of every six to seven men experience abuse during their lifetime. But you must let go of the past to get on with the present.

To begin loving people, you must close the door on the past. And that cannot happen without forgiveness! So, forgive those who have hurt you – for your own sake, not because they deserve it. Do it so your heart can be whole again. The people from your past cannot hurt you, but holding on to resentment against them can. Anytime you resent someone, you give them a piece of your heart, a piece of your attention, a piece of your mind. Do you want that person to have that? No? Then take it back by forgiving. Instead of rehearsing the hurt over and over, release it. And you can’t be selective in what you forgive: ‘I will forgive that, but I won’t forgive this.’ The Bible says, ‘Forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you’ (v. 13 NIV).