| Remember when people said what they meant? Maybe you didn't like it, but you understood what they meant, and you knew they meant it. The word 'cool' meant somewhere between warm and cold, and if you said, 'wicked good,' someone would've asked which one it was. It seems like straightforward speech is going the way of the horse and carriage. The Bible tells us, 'Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No", no.' In other words, mean what you say and say what you mean. Failing to do so damages relationships. We avoid saying 'no,' or we say 'yes' when we don't want to, out of the fear of rejection. And what are the results?
1) we live with stress, anger or resentment over feeling mistreated by others 2) our life becomes a classic double-bind where we feel trapped whichever way we go: 'If I say no, you'll be mad at me; if I don't, I'll be mad at myself and you!' So we stay stuck in our own pressurised trap 3) the other person will never know how we really feel, or understand why we act as we do. Unless you say what you feel, you'll never get what you need from others. People don't change, until you change how you interact with them 4) your choice to avoid what you fear is what makes you a victim, not other people's words or actions 5) you become part of the problem, surrendering to others the power God gave you to determine your own direction and set your own boundaries. So start saying what you mean, whether it's 'yes' or 'no!' |
