| Before discussing what healthy compromise is, let's be clear about what it's not. It's not giving up what you believe, or who you are, or accepting second best because you're impatient or afraid of criticism. Healthy compromise is about learning to negotiate a win-win situation for both sides. It's tempting to dismiss somebody as being wrong and see only your own viewpoint. That's when it's crucial to relinquish your pride, step outside of the role you're playing, try to become the other person and ask yourself, 'Can I see their point of view? Can I appreciate why they might feel as they do? Can I help them to better understand where I'm coming from?' The stronger we are in personality and views, the more we risk alienating the very people we need by being inflexible and unwilling to hear them out. That can cost us dearly. Because David listened to Abigail's plea for mercy, he avoided falling into the trap of his own anger and killing her husband who had treated him badly. Paul was uncompromising on the truth, but he changed his mind about John Mark and gave him a second chance at ministry. Here are two Scriptures to bear in mind when we're being hard-headed: 1) 'Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honour giving preference to one another' (Romans 12:10 NKJV); 2) '...Be at peace among yourselves... comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all...always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all' (1 Thessalonians 5:13-15 NJKV). Amazing, isn't it? All you need is a little give and take. |
